Last night was one of those nights. You know, when you wake up to use the bathroom (my getting older and been through twins sitting on it bladder ain't what it used to be) and then you can not get back to sleep. I woke up at 2:30am after having gone to sleep around 11:30pm - a wonderful 3 hours of sleep. Then my mind would not turn off.
I thought about work, and all of its sucky-ness, all of the things I have to get done at work, this weekend and all of the things I have to get done at home, J and what the hell he's doing (I've not heard from him at all since the call almost two weeks ago, neither has his family), How I would react and what I would tell my kids if someone comes knocking on the door telling me J is dead, what an a$$ J is, how sad I am my marriage is over, how angry I am my marriage is over, the Reuben sandwich I ate for dinner and how that may not be the best choice both for my health and for the fact that I'm single again (in my 40's! Thanks J!)
This went on for nearly 3 hours but I refused to get out of bed until 6am.
Then I must have fallen back to sleep right before 6am - and don;t even remember turning off the alarm that went off at 6:30am, because I woke up at 8am, now running late for work.
Try explaining to two three year olds why you have to rush around in the morning and why you are practically dragging them out of bed (they slept late too). Not an easy task, when you are near exhausted from lack of good sleep
Yet, somehow I find the energy (or coffee) to get through the day. Get through work, get through grocery shopping and fingers-crossed have maybe an hour to lay down before picking the kids up from daycare.