Well J came up for a short visit on Monday afternoon. Monday evening he took my credit card to pick up the pizza and proceeded to use it to buy legal substances at a gas station that are undetectable in a drug test. I didn't know at the time because, of course he hid the receipt.
On Tuesday, he called me at work and told me some story about how his old friends had called and he had to go make a statement at the police station about some items he had sold them last year - apparently the husband and wife were fighting over it. When I questioned him about why his old friend knew he was at my house since they hadn't called or stopped by since he left he had no answer. So, I immediately knew he was lying.
When I got home I found he had taken about $50.00 of merchandise out of my house (items consisting of tampons, shampoo, laundry soap, etc) that he was, I believe, planning on returning to the store and attempting to get drug money that way. He also left a note that said he was sorry and just doesn't know how to change.
He called late last night asking to stay at my house over night as he had no where to go. I told him no.
This morning as I was driving to work he flagged me down. I stopped and he asked for a ride. I gave him a ride and all the while he was asking to stay at the house just one more day, just to see the kids one more time, just for a few hours to take a nap, yadda, yadda, yadda. I repeatedly told him no and that he has stolen from me one too many times. He was wigging out and appeared to be higher than a kite. He had slurred speech, couldn't talk normally, disoriented thinking, couldn't get words out of his mouth, crying, agitation, anger. He claims he just can't sleep and felt like he was having a stroke. I offered to bring him to the hospital but he refused. He called the local crisis center but they don't have any beds available. They told him to call back every morning until they do.
When he finally realized I wasn't going to give in and let him come to the house, he got out of my car and left. he mumbled something about "Thanks - I thought I could count on you. Doesn't matter if I live or die. I never wanted it to be like this." Then I drove away.
I feel awful. I hope that he wasn't actually having a stroke, or other medical emergency. I feel guilty but I know that if I keep helping him his issues will never be resolved. And how many times do I allow him to steal from me?
I'm afraid too, that he will show up at the house when the kids are at home. How can I explain to them why Daddy is knocking on the door and I am calling the police and not letting him in??
I hate that his addiction has done this to our family.