As I sit here tonight, the words of Axel Rose spinning in my head, I can't help but wonder how many other people have concerns about their level of patience with their families.
I am normally a pretty patient person. I don't seem to have the instant gratification gene, I have no problem waiting for my favorite movie to come out on DVD before seeing it, and I pride myself on my ability to (most of the time) speak to people in a calm manner, even when I'm upset about something. I even wonder at times if I have the ability to get angry. I have a hard time expressing anger. But tonight, for whatever reason, my patience tank was completely empty.
We've been looking at different comforter sets for the boys beds, since all summer they only used light blankets. I wanted to get the sets before it gets really cold. I found really cute train sets and when I went online to order them found out they were discontinued. I finally broke down and asked the boys what sets they wanted - of course the answer was Thomas the Train. So, I ordered them. They were backordered and nearly every day the boys asked when they would be coming. Finally today I got the text that they had arrived. I ran to the store on my lunch so they would be waiting for the boys when they got home. And they so happy when they saw them. They kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you.
When we went upstairs for bed I went to put the sheets on the beds and they didn't want them. I sort of lost it. I didn't yell, or say anything mean, but I did kind of blow up and start ranting about how I was going to return them to the store and get my money back, yadda, yadda, yadda.....
Alex looked at me and said, "Mommy, calm, calm..."
I don't know what happened. I read parenting books. Walk away when your children upset you, count to ten, we all know the suggestions for keeping it under control. I know that 3 year olds are creatures of habit, finding comfort in the confines of routine and sameness. Why did it upset me so much that they didn't want to change the blankets they use tonight?
After he said that, I did calm down. We read our stories, asked our stalling questions, and finally got into bed. As I tucked Alex in, I thanked him for telling me to calm down. I told him that just like when he gets upset and I tell him to calm down and think things through, sometimes Mommy needs to be reminded to do that too, when she is getting upset for maybe no good reason. I asked him if he would be my "calmer downer" when I need it. He said he would.
Lesson learned little boy....Thank you for helping to teach me.