So, I've been seeing a therapist for about two months now to help to sort out thoughts about the future of my relationship with J. As I mentioned a while back J has some serious issues that have yet to be completely resolved and I am still not sure how I should be handling the issue.
Therapy is a great thing - for any of you who have never been. It is so refreshing to be able to just sit, open your mouth and let everything out, with no filters like you may have when talking to family or friends. It really makes things far clearer than when they are muddied up with filtering. Kind of like the air conditioner filter - you take it out and it is full of gunk. No filter, no gunk to cloud things.
I give J credit for taking it upon himself to go to rehab, for the fourth time, back in July. And he did it on his own - no legal mumbo jumbo forcing it. But now he's been out since the beginning of August, living with his family, and I still do not see any evidence of steps he's taking to deal with his addiction. Sure a 30 day stint is a good thing - but what about after-care? Isn't that the most important part of recovery? Things you do every.single.day to keep yourself on track? He does nothing. Which is what he's always done. Which make me fairly certain we'll end up with the same result we've always gotten - relapse.
I have ideas in my head about what I think potentially successful reocvery looks like - I think I'm going to share them with J. I just don't want to get further down the road, with him continuing to do nothing, and then drop a bomb on him that I can't work on our rleationship unless he's taking what I believe to be some positive steps toward recovery. And, while he can make his own decisions about what steps he feels he needs to take - I also have to make my own decisions about what I can live with confortably