Up all night

Well not literally. Actually only about 3 hours of the night - but that always makes me feel like I've been up all night. Used to be when I was younger I could stay up all night without one ounce of effect on my mind or body the next day. Time takes it's toll on a person. Now, when one of the bugs is up at night, I feel like I can't function the next day. Kind of like I have a hangover, but without having had the fun of the drinking part.
Alex decided last night between 1:30am-4am was play and talk time. Even going so far as to try to pry my eyelids open while I pretended to sleep. Alas, my little boy is no longer fooled by my fake snoring. No matter how I begged or what I threatened (no Mickey Mouse tomorrow, no swings, etc) he would not go back to sleep - just continued to jump, bounce, talk, want to read stories....darn molars coming in do it every time!

Is it awful to say that I was slightly smiling when I woke him up in the morning as he tried to hide under the blanket from me? Although he's no worse for the wear - he at least can take a nap today.

Me on the other hand - I need to go make another pot of coffee.

New Looks

So, I've changed the layout and design of the blog. I guess I just needed something different. It's kind of like my life right now too. Clouds are passing, the blue sky is ahead, it's just still a little bit fuzzy right now. But I'm heading toward it. It's definately there.

Anxiety

Since June 1st the bugs daycare provider has slightly changed. The woman who was watching them needs to have some surgery so her daughter took over the business. No new children, no new place, just a new face answering the door in the morning. T is even still there for most of the day - although she's trying to take more of a backseat so the kids can get more used to C.
My boys have had terrible separation anxiety every morning since. It is breaking my heart! Every morning the crying, the real tears streaming down their faces, and now Alex is on to the fact that that's where he's going so he refuses to get out of his crib. I thought we were passed the Separation issues. Now it seems we've been thrust right back to the start.
They are fine - by the time I get back to the car I know they've stopped crying because the windows are open and I can hear that they've settled down. When I pick them up in the afternoon they are happily playing. It's just the morning. But it's awful. and it really does a number on my level of Mommy guilt.

How can a single working mother of twins give them both enough love and attention so they feel confident when I leave that I'll return; So they don't cry every single morning? I just want to see them happy.